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by Skyyynn



Category: Amazingphil - Fandom, Danisnotonfire - Fandom, Phandom, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: M/M, Phanfiction, i wrote this at 3am, short but meh, what can i say
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-27
Updated: 2015-10-27
Packaged: 2018-04-28 12:36:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5090987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skyyynn/pseuds/Skyyynn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Since Dan said there were too many fics about Phil dying I made one about Him</p>
            </blockquote>





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The last thing I wanted was for him to get hurt. I might tease him too much sometimes but he knows I'm joking. I sincerely don't want anything bad to happen to him. It's too much. If he isn't with me, there isn't a meaning to this thing called life.

~

"His heart is getting weaker." Shouting everywhere. "Someone help!"

Nobody is there to help. Who would? In this war stricken world, who would want to risk their lives for someone else?

Lugging his lifeless body across the road, down the path. Walking to the hospital. There was nothing else to do except pray that I made it in time.

We didn't even do anything. We were just hiding in the house, scared to go out to face this new world.

It was foreign. Even if it was the place where we had lived for many year, now it all became something we didn't know. We could've just stayed naively unaware of the situation and not go outside.

But why did this happen?

Reaching the hospital, I tried getting attention. Something I never knew that I would do. I would avoid all contact as far as possible.

A nurse finally noticed and I told her what happened.

We were just inside talking about random stuff when he suddenly gripped his chest and his knees got weak. If he wasn't sitting on the chair, he would've fell to the ground and hit his head on the table.

I noticed he was looking a bit paler than usual recently but I didn't pay any mind to it. He kept saying he was just tired. I didn't ask further.

The nurse took him away from me. I had a feeling it would be the last time I saw him so I held on tight to the thin red thread and followed the nurse.

A doctor came out. He was sweating like crazy. It was packed in this hospital. What would you expect? This was the only hospital that is open at this time. Other doctors were helping out in the battlefield.

The doctor took a look at him and I prayed that he could be saved. My hopes were shattered by the news.

The doctor said he had heart failure. He couldn't be saved unless given a heart transplant. The cause was unknown.

The doctor said it might be impossible to find a donor and he would pass before anything else. His heart beats were slow. Slow, slower.

If you leave me tonight, 

I couldn't take it any more. I looked at his pale face. I just wished I could see those stunning bluish-green eyes again.

I'll wake up alone, 

"Take my heart. I don't know if it's compatible but please try! It would be bad if we didn't try. I don't care about my life. But please. Save his."

Don't tell me I will make it on my own

I can't. Who do you think pulls me through my existential crisis every time?

Don't leave me tonight,

I need you here with me.

This heart of stone will sink 'till it dies,

I don't care if I die. Please. You have to live. You have so many things you want to do. Your smile can do wonders. I know it can. Just please. Smile for me.

If you leave me tonight.

NO! Don't leave. I see the light. You better be alright. I'll be right beside you when you wake up. Even if I'm all cold. Just know I'm there. I'll always be with you.

~5 years later~

"Hey Dan. How are you today? I'm fine. It's just another year. I miss you."

Standing infront of the grave. The name 'Daniel James Howell' written on it.

"You know, I can still hear your voice. Like whenever I go to the supermarket, I still remember how we always argue about how I kept eating your cereal. Those were the days."

A lone tear was shed. Quickly, he wiped it away. His eyes were red. As always this time of year.

"I've been looking through our old photos. The ones we took together. I even have some of your foetus pictures."

You were so cute. Even when you were grown up, you were cute too.

"I had to remove our pictures off the walls in our apartment. I sealed off your room. It might be covered in dust. I don't know. Haven't seen it in forever. All the memories in the house hurts. But I can't care to move."

I know I'm just a weirdo now talking to a grave. But that's what people do right?

"I've said it before. And I'll say it again. I love you. From the bottom of my heart. Well, yours."

I clenched at my shirt where my heart is. It ached. I wanted to hear Dan's sarcastic remarks again. It didn't have to be good. Anything would be great. But it wouldn't come true.

At that time, in the hospital, Dan sacrificed himself for me. Why would he do that? I couldn't do anything about it. I couldn't say that he should carry on without me. I couldn't have asked him to leave me and just let me die.

No way he would've done that.

All I wanted was to live happily with him for the rest of our lives, making videos together, having fun together. I didn't want any of this. None of us wanted this. No body wants war. It just happens. Somehow.

Nobody was planning it. Everybody thought that everything in the world was great. I guess not. It doesn't matter anymore. It's not like anything matters anymore. I'm just here. Living the days as they pass.

"I'm sorry Dan. I can't fulfil my dreams. Since the day I lived and you died. I'll just be here until you call me back to your side."

**Author's Note:**

> the song is by secondhand serenade stay close don't go  
> its short but whatever LOL


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